


Sun-Kissed Confessions

by AgingPhangirl (Madophelia)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Canon-Compliant, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, inspired by Anthony's latest video with Dan, jealous!Phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 04:25:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11433123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madophelia/pseuds/AgingPhangirl
Summary: Mostly Phil is just jealous of the way Dan seems to be perfectly at ease with the idea of kissing Anthony, but wouldn't consider it with Phil.





	Sun-Kissed Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Literally all @killingmeitsso2yearsago has to do these days is get me talking about things and then yell PROMPT and off I go… I'm such a sucker for my mutuals man. 
> 
> I'm aware I'm posting twice in one day but Dan joked about kissing Anthony at the end of 'Stop saying we look alike!' and I'm pretty sure Phil was there and… this happened.
> 
> It was written sooooo quickly so I'm sorry about the errors.

It's warm, too warm. He is sitting sun-drenched on the porch, a sharp shaft of light cutting across the tiled floor where his feet are hot in his sandals. Dan and Anthony are brainstorming, pieces of paper strewn about, laughing at their own jokes which, Phil has to admit, are really kind of funny. It's a joy, to be here. When you put it in context of everything that has gone before, just how far they've all come, it's wonderful that they get these moments once a year to visit and see their friends. They should really try to do it more often. Or Phil should try, he needs to stop thinking about them as a unit, like every action he takes Dan must be at his side, but it's been so long since he hasn't been he can't really remember what that's like. 

It's dangerous though, to put all of this awkward humour in one place, because they are both the type to keep pushing the boundaries of what is acceptable and Phil hates playing the 'parent' in the situation and reigning them in. He's resisted so far, sat back and tipped his head into the sunlight and let it warm his skin, stayed out of the conversation. He's drifting like this, only half-listening, when he hears it. The thing that makes him get involved. 

"There should be a 'aaaand kiss' moment," Dan suggests, "it'll be hilarious." 

"Yeah, yeah" Anthony replies excitedly, "Or… you know… we could actually do it." 

There is a pause and Phil snaps his head up, looking back and forth between two pairs of brown eyes that are wide with excitement and mischief and Phil can see the cogs turning in Dan's head, the calculations going off about how much he can get away with and pass off as a joke. He's considering it, the insane git is really considering kissing Anthony Padilla on camera. And posting it to YouTube. 

"You cannot be serious," Phil says, his first contribution to the discussion.

"Phil, ease up dude, I'm sure he was joking." 

Dan is silent. 

"Yeah," Phil says, trying to pass it off as something casual, "No.. I… was just saying you know, it'd be a bit far, don't you think?" 

It isn't really the idea of them kissing that is getting to Phil. Not really. Because he'd gotten over all of that stuff ages ago, right? Dan can kiss whoever he wants. No, he's only thinking of the on-camera stuff, what Dan does affects Phil and he really doesn't want to have to deal with the implications of it… 

Except that isn't all of it. What's really getting to him is that there have been countless times over the years where someone has suggested that he and Dan do something a little more suggestive on camera and Dan has outright refused. Sure, they're a little more relaxed these days but they can't even hug if there is a camera anywhere in the building. He understands why, the obsessive fan following and shipping and all of the hassle that goes along with that is just not really worth it, but it kind of hurts that Dan can just agree to it so easily with Anthony. It doesn't even cross his mind to say no. 

Not once does he see that dagger of caution flash in Dan's eyes the way it does when Phil drifts too close, he doesn't have to watch as Dan's face screws up at any suggestion and gives a blunt, flat refusal to even indulge the joke. Even though they could get so much mileage out of it if they wanted to. Mostly Phil is just jealous of the way Dan seems to be perfectly at ease with the idea of kissing Anthony, but wouldn't consider it with Phil. 

Not that he wants to, of course, because Phil got over all of that years ago. 

" _Would_ it be too far?" Dan is asking suddenly, his eyes narrowed in Phil's direction, a look of defiance stretched across his features. 

"You don't think so?" Phil challenges back, not wanting to reveal his real problem with it. 

"No," Dan says, his face stoic and still, "I don't." 

"Ummm… do we just want to film the rest of it and decide later?" Anthony suggests, ever the voice of reason. 

Dan stares at Phil for a good few more seconds before his face relaxes into that familiar smile and he turns back to Anthony. 

"Sure thing." 

Phil is able to make the excuse of not wanting to get in the way while they film and disappear for a bit. He ends up sitting on the side of Anthony's hot tub, dangling his feet in the water and watching the sunlight glinting off the ripples he's making. 

It's too quiet, just the sound of the humid air humming through the grass and Phil is left alone with his thoughts, a lonely time in which he can analyse exactly why it is bothering him so much that Dan could be in that house right now, kissing Anthony.

He really tries to piece it out, thinks about it over and over to try and find the bit that is really bothering him. Turns out, it's all of it. Dan agreed too easily, too quickly, and he never would with Phil. But also, Phil doesn't _want_ him to kiss Anthony. He doesn't want Dan to kiss anyone. And that is just too troubling to continue ruminating over. 

He's left it about as long as he thinks he needs to before drifting back inside, his face probably too pink from the sun and the low frequency anger that is fizzing through him. 

He's greeted by the sound of loud, raucous laughter and the sight of Dan in a tight pink t-shirt with his fringe pushed back with some sort of product. He's in a close grasp with Anthony behind the camera waffling on about how pretty he is, feigning sincerity with 'should we kiss now?''...but not actually kissing him. By all sane standards Phil should think he looks ridiculous. What he really feels is like the air has been punched out of him. 

Phil has see every iteration of Dan. young and skinny, older and broader, messy and covered in Doritos dust on their couch, sleep-muddled and silly, cute and weird and nerdy and awkward and he loves every single version. This version included. He has no idea why this particular sight has his breath caught in his throat, but there it is, blocked up and choking him. 

He knows there is relief in there somewhere, about that fact that they decided not to actually kiss, but he's still made the joke, still hinted at it being a possibility, that this is something Dan Howell would consider, which is never an option when Phil is in the frame. But ahead of that is just the sight of Dan in his element, funny and clever and relaxed and Phil is faced with the realisation that he's relieved not because of the joke, or because of the freedom Dan feels to make it, but because he hadn't _kissed_ Anthony. 

Something in his expression must be amiss, though he's trying to keep it nonchalant, because as soon as they finish filming and Anthony and Dan have finished discussing whether or not they got the take they wanted, Dan is stomping over to him and taking him by the arm and pulling him into the pantry off the side of Anthony's kitchen and closing the door behind them. 

"What is your problem?" Dan is asking, his arms folded, straining against the light pink fabric in a way that makes Phil want to stare. 

"I don't have a problem." 

"You look like you're about to murder Anthony, what gives?" 

"I… nothing." 

"It's not nothing, Phil. You've been weird since the kiss thing was mentioned." 

It's no use, Phil can't keep denying it because this is Dan, he knows Phil better than anyone ever. Phil can keep things from his brother, his parents, but Dan? No way. 

"I just…" Phil thinks maybe he can get away with admitting half of it. Not the painful half, not the bit where the thought of Dan kissing someone else makes bile rise in his gut, just the first bit. "It's so easy for you to make jokes like that with other people." 

"Mmhm" Dan agrees, but motioning for Phil to continue. 

"I guess it makes me a little… um, jealous? I guess is the only term. That it's so easy with everyone else but with us… there is all this other stuff. So yeah. I'm just mad that we have to censor the funny jokes all the time because of all that annoying shipping stuff. That's all." 

The corner of Dan's mouth lifts, just the one side, in a smirk that makes Phil's stomach twist. 

"So... you're mad because you can't joke about kissing me?" 

"Um." 

"You look like you're going to kill Anthony if he so much as goes near me because of… content?" 

The way he says it, Phil knows it sounds ridiculous. Knows he isn't getting away with it at all. 

"Or are you mad that you can't _actually_ kiss me?" 

Phil's mouth opens and then closes, because what the hell can he say to that? He tries again but the same thing happens except now he looks like a fish gasping for air and he feels like it too. Like he's been taken out of the water and he's flailing about trying to find some way back. He wants to take a few steps backwards through time, go back to before Dan is stood in front of him calling him out on all of this stuff, just cram it all back in where it came from and continue ignoring it for as long as he needs to to feel normal again. 

"Phil…" Dan steps forward, close. 

Too close. The room is hot, stifling really, Phil can't believe he didn't notice before. There is no air-con unit in this room and Dan is so close. His hair is still in that ridiculous quiff and he's wearing that pale pink shirt with the stretched out collar that makes him look soft in all the right ways and Phil can't breathe. 

"Phil you know why I can't joke about that stuff with you." 

"Yes," Phil nods, resisting the urge to reach out and tug Dan even closer, "Because it would cause too many problems with--" 

"No," Dan cuts him off, his hand startling Phil as it lands on his shoulder. He hasn't even seen it coming, he is caught in the orbit of Dan's eyes as they drift impossibly closer. 

Dan is in his personal space now, far closer that he needs to be for this conversation and yet Phil doesn't mind. 

"Phil I can't make those jokes with you because it would be so obvious…" 

"Like an obvious joke? Yeah I know, it is a bit playing up to the ship, fan-service I guess. You're right. Let's move on." 

He's babbling, all his words coming in a rushed mess, tumbling over one another as they fall from his mouth. But Phil can't concentrate on what they're supposed to sound like when Dan is standing this close, not after everything today, not after the sun has beat down on him all day, his overheated brain focusing too much on things he's been denying even to himself for too long. 

Dan lets out a sigh, as if it's annoying him to have to explain himself in this way, but his hand glides up from Phil's shoulder, never losing contact as he strokes over Phil's neck, tucking hand into the soft hair at Phil's nape.

"Phil, I can joke with Anthony about kissing him because it means nothing. I don't want to kiss Anthony. I have no interest in actually kissing Anthony outside of a joke." Dan is so close, why is he so close? Why does he insist on torturing Phil in this way? His fingers curled and sliding back and forth on the tiny hairs of Phil's neck, making him shiver with anticipation. "if I made a joke about kissing you… if I kissed you on camera… it would be so obvious… that I meant it." 

Dan closes the gap between them, pressing his mouth to Phil's, running an eager tongue over his bottom lip to seek entrance before Phil is even used to the idea that it is happening. But perhaps that it for the best, because he parts his mouth without a second thought, without giving himself the chance to overthink this and back out. Instead it's all instinct, grabbing at Dan, fisting a hand in the back of that stupid pink t-shirt and pressing their bodies together, hard and close like Dan might pull away at any second.

The hand not currently holding onto him for dear life is on Dan's hip, the shirt raised up over the delicate curve of his hip bone and Phil's thumb is nestled in the crevice of it, like the dip in Dan's anatomy had been made especially for him. 

He shouldn't be surprised that they fall into step so easily, that kissing Dan is like everything else, simple, coordinated, like they're practised even though they're not. Dan kisses like he does anything, wholeheartedly with little concern for how overzealous he might be, and Phil is endeared to it because it is so like him, a little over enthusiastic yet utterly wonderful.

Phil can give as good as he gets, pushing back in to Dan so that Dan is't really the one owning this anymore. Before he knows it, he's got Dan backed up against the counter, the join of their mouth's never broken and Dan is gasping little pants in his throat and Phil's hands are roaming the expanse of his back and they need to slow down, they can't do this here. 

Phil puts some space between them, stepping away, gentle hands on Dan's chest, easing himself backwards. They are both breathing heavily and Dan's eyes are wide and his breath coming quick. His hair is more of a mess than it was when they came in here and Phil is sure he looks equally as dishevelled where Dan's hand had been tracking paths through his fringe. 

"It'd look pretty obvious if you kissed me like that, yeah." Phil says, because it's the only thing he can thing to say. His head is a mess, full of Dan and kissing and just barely holding on from striding back over to him and covering his mouth with his own again, the rest of the people in the house be damned.

"I don't think I could ever kiss you any other way than that," Dan replies, his lips red and swollen and perfect. 

"Please don't." 

"Don't kiss you?" 

"Don't stop." 

Dan closes the gap again, surging forward to press his mouth to Phil's. Its deep but it doesn't last too long before they part again, resting their foreheads together. 

"I know this means something," Dan says, "It has to. Right? It does?" 

"Yes," Phil replies, breathily, far more breathily than he intends, "God, yes. It does." 

"But we have to go back out there… I have to take of this stupid shirt and sort out my goddamn hair but after that… after that…" 

"After that it's just you and me," Phil suggests. 

"Yes," Dan confirms, "Just you and me. And… more of that please." 

"Yes," Phil agrees, "More of that."

They exit the room with red faces to side-eyed glances and rolled-eyes that say _'ugh, finally'_ and it isn't as embarrassing as it could be but Phil thinks that's probably because they aren't really paying attention to anything other than each other. 

They finally leave, and Dan slips his hand into Phil's in the quiet and privacy of their Uber back to the hotel and Phil feels the promise of it all close in around him, bathing him like the sunlight streaming through the window.

Who would have guessed that a joke about Dan kissing someone else could lead them here? But then, he supposes, it was only a matter of time before an on-camera kiss made them confess something. He just always kind of thought it would be theirs.


End file.
